


Trust

by master_riku



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Biting, Feelings, Gratuitous Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Pain, Painplay, Panic Attacks, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, RikuRoku - Freeform, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Tenderness, Trust, Trust Issues, all parties are enthusiastically consenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-12 00:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/master_riku/pseuds/master_riku
Summary: Roxas knew there was love between them--in every glance, every word, sassy and snarky and sweet, love was something they had an abundance of. But the balance between compromise and trust is a tricky one to navigate, and harmony in love can be hard to find after a life of too-young trauma.When your boyfriend is the hottest piece of ass ever dreamed up by the gods of sex, though, it's probably worth it to keep the fucking beautiful, idiotically endearing bastard around anyway.And you never know; people can surprise you.





	1. Love

**Author's Note:**

> eventual pain play and rough sex themes in future chapters, as referenced in tags: tw in advance so you don't read and get attached if that's not up your alley.
> 
> also, I don't address or mention best practises for sex or bdsm or kink play, but there is no dubious/doubtful consent nor breach of consent here. in fantasy, perfect telepathy is real.

_ Roxas knew there was love between them--in every glance, every word, sassy and snarky and sweet, love was something they had an abundance of. _

"_Fffuuck, _ I love you--I _ fucking--love _ you...hn_nnaahhhh--" _Riku's voice was strained, head thrown back into the pillow, hands fisting in the tangled bedsheets.

Another night, Riku would have his hands all over Roxas in return. But tonight was about _ him _ and after some pointed moments of painful denial in the past hour, he had learned to keep his hands to himself.

Roxas was straddling Riku, pinning him to the bed, arms to either side of his shoulders like a cage. He nibbled at a new spot on Riku's neck, the salty skin soft and pliant under his tongue. He was going to make Riku feel like a fucking _ god _ tonight if it _ killed _ him. His dick seemed to think it might.

He made his way up Riku's jawline, worshipping every inch of skin until he finally hovered over Riku's face and pressed one kiss to each of his cheeks, just to watch him flush under the attention.

_ Enchantment, in the way he could stop time itself just by drinking of Riku's eyes between kisses: hazy with lust, pupils blown wide to eclipse the warm aquamarine rings of his irises, opening the door to his starscape soul. _

Riku closed his eyes, overcome. Time started again.

"I love you, too," Roxas said, voice low and hoarse.

There hadn't been time for a slow burn like this in far too long. Sparks lit up the room around them, danced and arced under every line of contact, their magic reacting to the heady atmosphere.

"I love--" he dipped his head down to find that perfect spot on Riku's neck again,

"absolutely every--" the barest brush of lips,

"single--" one more kiss,

_ "fucking _ inch of you." He flattened his tongue on the sensitive skin and _ sucked._ He waited until Riku's guttural groan stuttered out before he drew back, satisfied.

Roxas shifted himself to one side, then, and brought a hand up between them to draw circles around Riku's nipple. Little glimmers of magic heated up in pinprick points wherever his fingers strayed.

He could stay like this forever, taking in the heaving chest and kiss-bitten lips and the face of pure divinity sweaty and lost to sensation. Riku tossed his head to the side again and silver locks splayed out on the pillow. Something clenched it Roxas's gut at the sight.

He licked his dry lips and tried to put his feelings to words. "You are a...goddamned _ wet dream _ brought to _ life,_ gem. Has--has there _ ever _ been a creature more stupidly _ incredible _ than you are at this exact moment?"

Riku sobbed and tried to buck up into Roxas, back arching deliciously, but Roxas was too far up for Riku to get any friction. He had to just lie there and take the attention.

Roxas smirked but it was strained, his own arousal hammering at the door of his sanity to the beat of his lust-soaked heart.

Roxas moved his hand to cup Riku's cheek one last time before pulling back, sitting up to better access his chest. Slow patterns drew his hands down the silver-speckled expanse of sensitive skin.

_ Infatuation, in the way Riku would come undone under the gentlest touches. Whenever Roxas traded his edges for softness and praise and slow eroticism he knew without a doubt his boyfriend was an angel, with wings of breathless surrender and a halo of hot moans. _

"Look at you," Roxas ground out, determined to bring Riku to the very edge, "being so good for me. Letting me touch you absolutely everywhere I want. Your skin is so flushed and pink. You're so...shit, you're so _ pretty _ like this, Riku, fuck."

Riku was practically sobbing in earnest now, and Roxas's cock was straining against his stomach where it was partially trapped between them and it twitched with every movement Riku made. He wasn't going to last much longer, either.

"Can you wait until I'm inside you to cum?" He asked. He thought Riku nodded.

In a few practised movements he was situated further down on the bed, one of Riku's knees up over his shoulder, a mirror of the position he'd been finger-fucking him in earlier.

From this angle, his boyfriend was the picture of debauchery draped over the dark blue sheets: moaning himself raw, cock almost purple against his stomach, wrecked before he'd even been properly fucked and Roxas wasn't sure if his dick or his heart was more captivated.

He didn't touch Riku's cock--he didn't dare. Riku had been on the edge too long. Instead he slid two fingers suddenly into Riku and rotated them, eliciting a faltering cry. Riku's hips bucked up and Roxas followed the motion before pulling his hand away.

"Still so wet and open for me," Roxas said, a note of desperation in his voice now. "_God, _ I wish you could see yourself like this--I bet you could cum just from my voice, couldn't you."

He thought the sounds Riku made approximated some kind of strangled protesting agreement, but he didn't wait to find out. He pressed a kiss to the side of Riku's leg and fucked slow and deep into him.

"Hhh_hhaaaa, Rox--as--_Rng--oxsss, _ p-lease…" _ They weren't quite words but they were the last thing Riku managed before devolving entirely into wordless shouts, crying out with every thrust as Roxas finally--_finally_\--took mercy on him and sped up.

_ Passion, in their wild, vocal lovemaking, the way they couldn't seem to keep their hands off one another and it always ended up here. Every slap of skin and jerk of the bed as together they chased their pleasure to its height wove a more complete picture of their devotion. _

Roxas's own arousal crowded dark at the edges of his vision and he lost all self control buried in that tight, clenching heat, fucking Riku down into the mattress with swift strokes.

He lasted a little longer than Riku out of sheer force of will before his climax came shuddering out of him, a starburst of brightness behind his eyes.

It took a minute for him to come back to himself; Riku's soft whimper snapped his focus back to the present.

Sex like this always did a number on Riku's emotional state but it left him centered and clear-minded and self-assured like nothing else could and after the week they'd had, Roxas had decided he needed it.

The mess could wait a bit, he figured, as he straightened Riku back out and scooted up to wrap himself around his shaking boyfriend. They fit together perfectly like this, as in every other position, warmth and skin and a sense of rightness.

Soft whispers and shushing noises came as naturally as breathing, now, and he calmed Riku back down as the sparks faded and the air stilled.

_ Affection, in their cuddles and playful insults and forehead kisses. They could lay for hours in fucked out bliss, hearts beating in time to the tune of their midnight leisure. _

When his gorgeous, sated idiot, finally fell asleep, Roxas cleaned them up as quietly as possible. He set out some water and a cup of tea under a stasis spell in case Riku woke up and threw on a shirt.

Stretching and rolling his shoulders, he went to sit in the window, less tense himself in the afterglow of a good fuck--and more in love as always--but still thoughtful.

The curtains cushioned Roxas's forehead as he watched the stars, curled up on the windowseat. Their reliable twinkling and the soft breeze gracing his forehead let him know he was home as much as the lingering smell of Riku in his clothes. He smiled softly.

They had so much. Even _ respect _ now, hard-won, after two years of slow progression from Riku being his rival to his hate-fuck to his lover to his boyfriend.

Roxas loved the life they had. He loved their love.

But there was something off, something missing.

_ Trust._

It almost went without saying that _ he'd _ learned to trust _ Riku_. It would be hard not to and Roxas wasn't sure he knew anyone who didn't.

And of course Roxas reveled in Riku's tears for him--in his uninhibited responsiveness as Roxas topped him into an oblivion of heartfelt, sincere, mush. Riku's praise kink was really something else and sure, he trusted him enough with that knowledge.

But if anything, the level of vulnerability it took to be that honest with his deep adoration of every piece of Riku, to go _ there _ after all the months of fire and ice and lack of communication? That had been Roxas's struggle; Riku wasn't the one afraid of giving his heart away, or afraid of holding someone else's. To Riku that was just another ordinary task, like picking up groceries or slaying Heartless.

For him, Roxas had learned how. And when he brought it to the bedroom and it took Riku to a new height of surrender and need before leaving him an emotional, sated, cleansed wreck, Roxas had never been more pleased with himself.

Riku, though, was still holding something back.

Roxas sighed and closed his eyes, letting the coolness of the night sooth over his sore muscles as he leaned into the windowsill.

He wasn't even sure what Riku was still holding back. And, he supposed, he wasn't _ so _concerned.

Riku's soft snores filtered out of the dark bedroom behind them and Roxas felt himself drifting into sleep.

It was just...something he knew. Something he felt. Something he couldn't get out of his head.

The sun always set in Twilight Town. Yen Sid was a jerk. Cure magic was green.

And Riku didn't trust Roxas. At least, not completely.


	2. Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Riku bites Roxas, hard. It goes very well and then very poorly.

Riku bit him.

It wasn’t meant to be much of a bite—just another nip, a soft press of teeth to a hickey left on Roxas's shoulder earlier. He probably didn't even realise what he was doing; Roxas’s cock must have driven into his ass at just the right angle, hit just the right spot, because in lieu of moaning, Riku bit down _ hard, _ sinking his teeth into the soft skin.

_ Fuck, yes, _ it _ hurt _ and it was _ perfect _ and Roxas’s own sudden orgasm took him by surprise, a lightning flash of pleasure zinging between his cock and his shoulder until he short-circuited into mind-blanking pleasure.

He managed to get Riku to finish as well and collapsed next to him on the bed, stunned.

Riku didn’t seem to notice from within his own fucked-out daze, which was almost hilarious to Roxas because something had _ clicked _ inside his head. The whole world shifted. _ Pain. _

Pain was _ amazing. _ How had he never noticed? _ Fuck. _ He'd always been into the hickeys and the rougher lovemaking but _ this _ was next-level. He smiled to himself, something giddy demanding to be felt in spite of his exhaustion.

The pain was harsher than they’d strayed before, even back in the days of grinding out hate-fucks against bathroom counters. Much harsher. Brilliant.

Roxas's breathing steadied but there was a new layer of fuzziness about the world. It was like his thoughts and feelings were coming at him through a very light veil that rippled and buzzed with leftover satisfaction. Maybe even arousal, though how he was still aroused after two successive rounds was completely beyond him.

For the sake of his sanity, Roxas decided to ignore it. But the bite on his shoulder still twinged in a _ very _ pleasant way.

Roxas was the first to recover and he ran his hands through Riku's sweat-damp hair, waiting for him to catch up. The air smelled like sex and home--though, at this point, the smell of sex probably was inextricable in his mind from the concept of home. Roxas bit back a laugh at that.

When Riku regained use of his sore limbs, too, they slowly cleaned up the room they'd thrown to chaos--the first round may or may not have been against the desk--before settling back into bed. The routine was familiar and comforting and by the time he drifted to sleep draped over his enormous boyfriend, Roxas had almost calmed down from the foggy pain-high.

Almost.

Riku was already out on his next mission by the time Roxas dragged himself out of bed the next morning.

"Holy shit."

The first glance he got of himself in the mirror sent a plummeting jolt of arousal to his cock. Riku had _ thoroughly _ marked him. It hadn't shown up much last night, fresh and in dim lighting, but it was fucking impressive today. He was surprised it hadn't broken skin.

Roxas swallowed thickly, mouth suddenly a desert of need. Riku wasn't going to be back until tomorrow afternoon. He might genuinely expire by then.

Roxas shook his head and leaned against the cold mirror. He didn't even bother trying to get himself off in spite of the way his cock strained against his pants--it wouldn't do him much good to spend the day in an exercise of futility, beating out unfulfilling orgasm after orgasm chasing a high he would never be able to reach without Riku's dick in his ass, without more of that _ pain._

The dueling chimes of the coffee pot and his gummiphone called; in spite of his new kink, the day had to be lived. With a sigh and a "cure" halfway to his lips, Roxas rubbed at the bruise and--fff_f__uck_, immediately bit down on his lip, hard, breath hissing out.

Fuck. That felt good.

He's never been one to keep around injuries or even marks from lovemaking, but he couldn't just get rid of something so nice, right?

Instead of healing it, Roxas spent the next 36 hours watching the bruise bloom and shift on his shoulder, ghosting a gentle hand over the deepening colours, the shades of purple with angry red splotches in a rough outline of Riku’s bite, fading out to yellows and greens on the edge.

He was already addicted to the lingering ache and every time he stole a moment to tuck away in a corner and touch, Roxas imagined his own fingertips were Riku's, pressing into the tender skin and sending shockwaves laced with heated memory through his center.

Maybe he was turning into someone who wanted to be marked after all.

He wanted _ more_.

So when Riku came home from his mission two days later and immediately slammed his firecracker boyfriend into the nearest wall, groaning with want and _missed you _against his neck, Roxas couldn’t help but goad him on.

He was hot and wanting and begging from the start, legs twined around Riku's waist, arms around his neck. Roxas kissed a little deeper, tugged a little firmer at Riku’s hair, ground against his pelvis harder as Riku bucked him _ almost _ painfully enough into the hard stone wall.

Eyes flashing in the filtered afternoon light, air buzzing with their gasping breaths, hair mussed and desperate face belying his apparent sass he quipped, “Is that all you’ve got? Surely you missed me more than _ that, _Riku."

Seeking, searching out the pain. He wanted to be _ used_, dammit.

Riku smirked, never one to back down from a challenge, and pressed Roxas harder into the wall. He finally let some of his true strength show in the demanding surge of his hips. Harsh fingers dug into Roxas's sides. He needed _ more._

_"More, please," _he managed to rasp, though more of what he didn't get out.

His head was already buzzing and the desperation of two days without even cumming was too much. Anything more would probably do, at this point.

Riku pulled back to get Roxas’s shirt over his head and Roxas slid his legs down to the floor, wobbly but serviceable, as he helped. No more clothes. Good start.

A second later, Riku froze, the loose t-shirt dangling from one hand as he stared at Roxas’s shoulder. Having looked at it in the mirror every few minutes today, Roxas knew it was an impressive sight.

Roxas blinked, coming back to himself slightly. Riku was still staring.

Sensing the shift in mood, Roxas’s brow furrowed and he reached out to touch Riku’s face, questions rising to his lips. Riku shied away from his hand and took a few stumbling steps backward, dropping the shirt.

Something cold, akin to dread but still muddled with confusion, dropped a leaden weight in Roxas's stomach. The room felt too quiet.

"Riku?" was all Roxas managed.

“I—I did that,” Riku said, almost a plea more than a statement.

“Of course you did—who the fuck else would I—? Riku, what’s _ wrong_?” Roxas’s voice dipped, and he tried to keep it steady.

He had a bad habit of getting frustrated when he was concerned or uncertain and right now he was both. Riku was acting like a scared rabbit.

And now he wasn't responding. _ Fuck._

His breathing was ragged, a soft wheeze threatening. Tremors of terror flickered in those teal eyes and Roxas knew the panic was too far in to reason away.

Icy thoughts raced through his adrenaline-cleared head and he tried to remember what he knew about panic attacks—Riku hadn’t gotten one since they’d been dating.

_ Fuck. Fuck. _

_ Don’t touch until he’s ready. _ Roxas turned his hand over and held it out beseechingly instead.

Riku didn't respond but he didn't back further away, either.

_ Try to get him to sit down. Only let him talk if it helps. Reassurance. Grounding. Breathing. _

“Riku,” Roxas said, “it’s...okay. Everything’s okay. I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

He sounded like an idiot on repeat, but at least it seemed to be working. He coaxed Riku into sitting on the edge of the bed, guiding him there with the barest touch to his elbow.

He sat next to Riku, one leg tucked under himself as the bed sank beneath them. He was glad the lights were still dim in here, making the cluttered room more homey than overwhelming he hoped. His head spun, processing everything too fast, taking in too much info.

Riku's breathing was too shallow and he seemed frozen, but he was holding eye contact--if slightly wide-eyed--with Roxas. Talking was a good idea, then? Worth a try.

Roxas took a breath himself and tried to make his words sound calm.

"Breathe for me, gem. Breathe from lower in your abdomen, low and as slow as you can," Roxas repeated some advice he thought he heard once. "Can you nod?"

Riku nodded almost imperceptibly and his breathing pattern changed.

"Good. Good." Riku breathed easier the second Roxas said the words and he smacked his metaphorical hand into his forehead. Praise. He reached a tentative hand out and Riku didn't twitch away this time.

"You're doing so well," Roxas said, the words coming easier now that he knew what to say. "I'm okay, everything's going to be fine, and we're just going to sit here and breathe, just like you're doing for me, so good for me."

Roxas kept his voice as steady as possible, and slowly trailed his hand up from Riku's elbow to his shoulder and back.

As he babbled aimlessly and made little noises of reassurance, Riku seemed to relax back into something resembling himself. Muscles loosened, breathing became less forced, eyes closed.

Roxas rubbed small, comforting circles into Riku's arm and worked his way down. By the time he reached Riku's hand, the panic seemed to have passed and Riku gripped his hand back.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Always," Roxas said.

In a matter of minutes they were laying back on the bed, Riku’s head on Roxas’s shoulder—the one without a bruise, just in case.

The room settled into a more comfortable stillness, tension still echoing off the walls but not clamouring for attention anymore. Roxas threaded his fingers gently through silver locks in time with his own breaths and waited for Riku to speak first.

“I’m sorry. I hurt you." The words were simple and clipped but undertones of self-loathing edged out. 

_ Oh. _ Roxas's remaining frustration melted into understanding and concern and he felt like an asshole for not realising more quickly.

Riku had a history of hurting the people he cared about. This was not one of those times. Trauma was a bitch, though.

"You really didn't." Roxas's tone was low, but firm. "You made me feel amazing. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I _ liked _ it."

Riku shook his head, unconvinced. "And if you hadn't? I was out of control; I could have crossed a line."

"Even if I hadn't liked it much, I wouldn't care," Roxas said, shrugging. "You weren't out of control, Riku, it's just a bite mark during sex; pretty normal. Pretty sexy, too. And, you know, we've got healing magic."

Riku pulled back slightly, bed dipping, as he made eye contact with Roxas again. Too many lines in such a soft, young face. Too much chaos behind those aquamarine eyes. Roxas thought they were past the days when he'd see them so full. He should have known better.

"That doesn't always work. I thought, when I saw it still on your shoulder--"

Riku's fist--the left one--was clenched where it was tucked between their bodies. The final piece slid into place.

"Oh--oh, no, of _ course _ it would work--Riku--oh fuck, I'm sorry." Roxas pulled Riku back in tight and wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders, one hand back in his hair; Riku's shoulders finally unknotted and he curled into Roxas, letting out a shaky sigh of relief. "I just liked the way it looked, gem. It wasn't anything Dark--_you _ aren't anything Dark."

It figured--the permanent twinge of the Darkness-and-rage-induced injury that _ he _ had given _ Riku _ was causing Riku more anxiety than it ever had him.

As far as Roxas was concerned, they'd been even when they met again as just people, when all was right with the realms. He'd hated Riku's guts, still, but not over anything in particular. Even finding out about the wrist hadn't caused him much guilt and when they'd fucked it out over the bathroom sink in Sora's flat while everyone was still asleep in a drunken post-birthday stupor, he'd pretty much let it go.

But the injury had taught Riku that Darkness could leave scars that ran too deep to be healed. And even if Roxas didn't fully believe that himself, Riku did; they hadn't found a better explanation.

That was it. The missing trust.

Riku still didn't trust _ himself _ to let go. To let loose and come undone in any way that wasn't gentle. He didn't fully trust himself with his Darkness and he might never. Even more prominently, Riku didn't trust himself not to hurt Roxas.

And, too, he didn't trust _ Roxas _ to know his own limits, to be able to handle himself. It was tied too closely to all his deepest fears. Too much trauma, too young.

Roxas knew it in that moment, pressing soft kisses into Riku's hair and murmuring affection as Riku slowly melted into sleep in his arms: he could never ask for that trust. Certainly not for the sake of kink.

He couldn't ask that of Riku; it was too much, too far. It went beyond pleasure and sex. It crossed a line.

But that was okay.

He would be okay with that.

Of course, Riku _ tried_. Just a few times.

Roxas hadn't even mentioned the pain kink fully and he'd healed up his shoulder and moved on. But Riku wasn't an idiot in spite of how often Roxas called him one. He also wasn't a coward, in spite of his fears.

He'd gathered that Roxas liked pain, and tried to escalate things himself on more than one occasion, testing the waters, trying to feel out Roxas's limits as if he'd just realised he'd never done that before.

One time in particular, Riku held Roxas's hands down over his head as he fucked him against the wall. He held on with a surprising amount of force in a way that made Roxas's toes curl as he felt the bones of his wrist click and press together under the weight.

But even through the pleasant haze of pain-pleasure, Roxas knew better than to let his boyfriend stupidly self-destruct on his behalf; with a few choice words of praise--_ yes, so good, gem, so _ fucking _ beautiful it isn't fucking _ fair, _ you're so perfect like this_\--he got Riku suitably distracted and freed his arms to wrap around Riku's neck instead.

It worked every time. Roxas was not one to skimp on a secret weapon.

They didn't really fit the d/s dynamic--Roxas had done research, just in case--but he dared anyone to keep him from using Riku's praise kink at will to his own ends, both inside and outside of sex, when it was so damn effective.

Riku deserved to feel like he was enough--because he _ was _ enough.

And after a couple more months, it seemed like Riku had finally let that thread go, letting Roxas love him more and more softly.

Perhaps, if he'd been paying a little more attention, Roxas would have found it suspicious the way Riku backed off so suddenly and so hard.

But given that they still had sex at the rate and frequency of the particularly horny, fit young people they were, Roxas figured they weren't missing out on much anyway. He let himself get comfortable in the relief and in the probably twisted idea that he'd _won_ somehow.

After all, Love was more than trust. Love was compromise, too, right? Could he _ win _ at compromising? Probably.

But he underestimated one vital factor, and one of the catalysts for their entire relationship: Riku's competitiveness.


End file.
